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My GF kinda broke up with me

Created by: csick
Team: 2020-21 Montreal Canadiens
Initial Creation Date: Nov. 19, 2020
Published: Nov. 19, 2020
Salary Cap Mode: Basic
Description
Said she’s dealing with depression and needs a break. She would prefer if I moved on but said she won’t close the door on a future relationship. We both knew we were each other’s soulmates. I don’t wanna give up on her. What do I do?
Trades
1.
MTL
    Jack
    ANA
    1. Smith, Jack [Reserve List]
    2.
    MTL
    1. 2022 7th round pick (ARI)
    ARI
    1. Hudon, Charles [RFA Rights]
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    2021
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    2022
    Logo of the MTL
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    2023
    Logo of the MTL
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    ROSTER SIZESALARY CAPCAP HITOVERAGES TooltipBONUSESCAP SPACE
    21$81,500,000$73,691,309$0$3,137,500$7,808,691
    Left WingCentreRight Wing
    Logo of the Montreal Canadiens
    $5,500,000$5,500,000
    LW, RW
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    Logo of the Montreal Canadiens
    $3,083,333$3,083,333
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    LW, RW
    UFA - 1
    Logo of the Montreal Canadiens
    $1,400,000$1,400,000
    C, RW, LW
    UFA - 1
    Logo of the Montreal Canadiens
    $2,125,000$2,125,000
    RW, LW
    UFA - 4
    Logo of the Montreal Canadiens
    $3,400,000$3,400,000
    LW, RW
    UFA - 3
    Logo of the Montreal Canadiens
    $925,000$925,000 (Performance Bonus$2,500,000$2M)
    C
    UFA - 1
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    $3,750,000$3,750,000
    RW, LW
    NMC
    UFA - 1
    Logo of the Montreal Canadiens
    $2,400,000$2,400,000
    LW, RW
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    Logo of the Montreal Canadiens
    $863,333$863,333 (Performance Bonus$425,000$425K)
    C
    UFA - 2
    Logo of the Montreal Canadiens
    $2,600,000$2,600,000
    RW, LW
    UFA - 1
    Left DefenseRight DefenseGoaltender
    Logo of the Montreal Canadiens
    $875,000$875,000
    LD/RD
    M-NTC
    UFA - 4
    Logo of the Montreal Canadiens
    $7,857,143$7,857,143
    RD
    UFA - 6
    Logo of the Montreal Canadiens
    $10,500,000$10,500,000
    G
    NMC
    UFA - 6
    Logo of the Montreal Canadiens
    $1,750,000$1,750,000
    LD/RD
    M-NTC
    UFA - 2
    Logo of the Montreal Canadiens
    $5,500,000$5,500,000
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    M-NTC, NMC
    UFA - 1
    Logo of the Montreal Canadiens
    $4,350,000$4,350,000
    G
    UFA - 1
    Logo of the Montreal Canadiens
    $925,000$925,000
    LD/RD
    UFA - 2
    Logo of the Montreal Canadiens
    $894,167$894,167 (Performance Bonus$212,500$212K)
    LD
    RFA - 2
    Logo of the Montreal Canadiens
    $735,000$735,000
    LD/RD
    UFA - 1

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    Nov. 19, 2020 at 1:44 p.m.
    #26
    RangerWall92
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    Joined: Nov. 2018
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    Quoting: csick
    Yeah we have everything in common and she said I’m her person like a million times and then was talking about moving in together


    I think you should feel fortunate to have someone like that who you can trust and that trusts you. A little break is nothing to worry about. My discord is VSolanki#6463 if you want to reach out for anything. Trust the process, things will get better soon my guy
    csick liked this.
    Nov. 19, 2020 at 1:48 p.m.
    #27
    Thread Starter
    KFTW
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    Quoting: RangerWall92
    I think you should feel fortunate to have someone like that who you can trust and that trusts you. A little break is nothing to worry about. My discord is VSolanki#6463 if you want to reach out for anything. Trust the process, things will get better soon my guy


    Thanks bro. I hope it will . I’ll update everyone here too once i break through or something smile
    MitchMarner_16 liked this.
    Nov. 19, 2020 at 1:49 p.m.
    #28
    RangerWall92
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    Quoting: csick
    Thanks bro. I hope it will . I’ll update everyone here too once i break through or something smile


    No rush at all. Fingers crossed
    csick liked this.
    Nov. 19, 2020 at 1:53 p.m.
    #29
    Biased Opinion
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    Nothing for me to add that hasn't already been said by capfriendly's finest here.

    Hope you're doing alright. Hang in there buddy (buddy is the highest compliment I can bestow)
    csick and yikes liked this.
    Nov. 19, 2020 at 1:56 p.m.
    #30
    Thread Starter
    KFTW
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    Quoting: Barbs
    Nothing for me to add that hasn't already been said by capfriendly's finest here.

    Hope you're doing alright. Hang in there buddy (buddy is the highest compliment I can bestow)


    Thanks bro smile
    Barbs liked this.
    Nov. 19, 2020 at 1:57 p.m.
    #31
    GloryDaysAreBack
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    If you choose to go more down the moving on side of things, keep in mind you're a confident, insightful person. You show here that you listen to others well which is a massively underrated skill. Stuff like this can shake that up in people so I want to remind you you're a catch. Bill Burr advice helped me get through a couple breakups, figuring out what that Csick single life looks like is process but a worth it one for sure.

    If you choose to give space but ultimately are trying get back together at some point, it's suuuuch a tricky line to walk because they don't know how things are going to turn out so neither do you and you are at the mercy of that which can take a toll on you in a time that's alright pretty brutal. But you're allowed to keep going down that rabbit hole with her hoping for the best. That's totally fun especially if you care a lot for them.

    This story reminds me of my best friend and how he's feeling about being in a relationship while struggling with depression for the last 10 years (and being a Sabres fan has not been helping). He broke up with a gf of over year who is hands down the COOLEST girlfriend he's ever had, amazing in bed, always there for him, super down to earth and funny. His problem is his depression and anxiety disorders get in the way of him enjoying and nurturing his relationships because eventually there comes a point that he has to pull back and just worry about himself for a long time on end. Then it gets better for a bit, then he pulls back for a bit and that's the cycle he's currently stuck in. He's told her it would be best if she moved on but they still have relations here and there on and off. While they enjoy each others company, it's clear she wants more and he cannot give it.

    If it comes to that with you and her Csick, I think it's time to move on because that's what it will always be and that's not gonna have a good effect on you long term. I hope things can get better because having someone like you is HUGE for her at this point with her mental illness and whether she believes it or sees it probably changes more than the Pittsburgh Penguins roster. Stay strong, stay true to you at the end of the day. Take as long as you need and as much as you need to figure this out. Be honest with yourself regarding how you feel. Hopefully things work out in the end. Things can turn around when you least expect it and in a way you don't expect. I'd watch Ovechkin, Backs, Kuzy and Carlson draft videos. Not only is it fun distraction knowing how things played out with a cup victory but it could help you flex that "new hope is ahead" neural pathway in your brain which I'd want to feel as much as I could in that scenario. Thanks for coming to my Ted talk, I hope this was helpful. Thanks for reaching out, I think it's good you did. I'd take this over a good 40% of the suggested ACGMs here.

    and in true CF ACGM fashion... Arizona is not giving up even a 7th for Hudon because of how bad they've screwed up losing picks or wasting picks on racists.
    csick, Green4D4 and AndrewLadd liked this.
    Nov. 19, 2020 at 2:00 p.m.
    #32
    Thread Starter
    KFTW
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    Quoting: BlastnyFromThePastny
    If you choose to go more down the moving on side of things, keep in mind you're a confident, insightful person. You show here that you listen to others well which is a massively underrated skill. Stuff like this can shake that up in people so I want to remind you you're a catch. Bill Burr advice helped me get through a couple breakups, figuring out what that Csick single life looks like is process but a worth it one for sure.

    If you choose to give space but ultimately are trying get back together at some point, it's suuuuch a tricky line to walk because they don't know how things are going to turn out so neither do you and you are at the mercy of that which can take a toll on you in a time that's alright pretty brutal. But you're allowed to keep going down that rabbit hole with her hoping for the best. That's totally fun especially if you care a lot for them.

    This story reminds me of my best friend and how he's feeling about being in a relationship while struggling with depression for the last 10 years (and being a Sabres fan has not been helping). He broke up with a gf of over year who is hands down the COOLEST girlfriend he's ever had, amazing in bed, always there for him, super down to earth and funny. His problem is his depression and anxiety disorders get in the way of him enjoying and nurturing his relationships because eventually there comes a point that he has to pull back and just worry about himself for a long time on end. Then it gets better for a bit, then he pulls back for a bit and that's the cycle he's currently stuck in. He's told her it would be best if she moved on but they still have relations here and there on and off. While they enjoy each others company, it's clear she wants more and he cannot give it.

    If it comes to that with you and her Csick, I think it's time to move on because that's what it will always be and that's not gonna have a good effect on you long term. I hope things can get better because having someone like you is HUGE for her at this point with her mental illness and whether she believes it or sees it probably changes more than the Pittsburgh Penguins roster. Stay strong, stay true to you at the end of the day. Take as long as you need and as much as you need to figure this out. Be honest with yourself regarding how you feel. Hopefully things work out in the end. Things can turn around when you least expect it and in a way you don't expect. I'd watch Ovechkin, Backs, Kuzy and Carlson draft videos. Not only is it fun distraction knowing how things played out with a cup victory but it could help you flex that "new hope is ahead" neural pathway in your brain which I'd want to feel as much as I could in that scenario. Thanks for coming to my Ted talk, I hope this was helpful. Thanks for reaching out, I think it's good you did. I'd take this over a good 40% of the suggested ACGMs here.

    and in true CF ACGM fashion... Arizona is not giving up even a 7th for Hudon because of how bad they've screwed up losing picks or wasting picks on racists.


    Thanks for writing all that up. We just both thought we were each other’s soulmates and she was talking about moving in together. I wanna support her until she’s out of it.
    Nov. 19, 2020 at 2:27 p.m.
    #33
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    Sorry to hear. My advice is to give yourself some space between yourself and the break up. It’s good to reflect on these things, but sometimes doing so so soon after the event can just make you ruminate. In the meantime, find something to do that’s good for you. Start/continue working out, pick up a hobby you haven’t done in awhile but miss, that kind of thing. Solutions to these kind of things take forever to develop, so while you wait for that to come, take the time to invest in yourself.
    csick and Green4D4 liked this.
    Nov. 19, 2020 at 2:38 p.m.
    #34
    EklundCelebriniSmith
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    When it comes to mental health, always value that “health part”. Including yourself. Make sure you’re as healthy as you can be even in a “distraught” state. And when it comes to your SO being in a tough situation as you’ve stated, value their choices but make sure you can still provide for their “health”. If you notice something heading in a wrong direction; even if you don’t want to seem pushy - at least reach out/ make an effort. Even if it makes it awkward for yourself atleast show the effort if you notice something wrong. Otherwise treat them like a close friend as things can always mend and even result in getting back together - but as long as you make an effort to help each other and ensure that both are “healthy/ as healthy as you can help them be (sometimes you can’t do a lot but a little helps); then even if things are truly over you’ll know you did as much as you could and still helped someone through a tough patch - and you should atleast know you did the right thing and you should feel proud of that in the end
    Green4D4 and csick liked this.
    Nov. 19, 2020 at 2:40 p.m.
    #35
    ... We're a "Team"..
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    Hey buddy, just split with my lady friend as well so I can relate. I needed to split for my own mental health and to her benefit due to my constant struggle with emotions (or lack thereof). Depression and anxiety combined are the worst because it's difficult to ask for help because of the fear of being a burden to other (I have both). The fact she (your ex) reached out to you on multiple occasions is a good sign. If she needs space, that's okay, too. Just let her know that you are there if she needs. It will be hard for you but it'll be harder for her. Don't try and fix, try and connect. Understand, appreciate and listen. If she has close friends or family, let them know. If she wants to go at it alone, make sure she has the support necessary to fall back on someone. I consider myself fortunate to have that type of support in both family and friends.

    She should seek professional help. As hard as it may be to come by in these strenuous times, it crucial that she seeks true professionals. It honestly helps to speak outside of your circle of trust because a professional/outside opinion might be the difference it takes to get things going. It does me wonders, personally.

    Point is, you're not in this alone either. Capfriendly is friendly for a reason.
    csick liked this.
    Nov. 19, 2020 at 2:44 p.m.
    #36
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    Sorry to hear that csick. Stay calm. Respect her decision. Give her your support and love. Stay positive. Express your feelings. Use I statements. “ I like when ...” “I dislike that ...” Actively listen when she communicates to you. Affirm what you hear, when she is talking. Very basic example. “Honey, can you take out the garbage?” Did you ask me to take out the garbage?” “Yes” Affirming what you hear reinforces clarity and minimizes misunderstandings.

    Finally, if you haven’t done this already, learn about depression. Understanding what she is going through will go a long way.

    Good luck.
    csick liked this.
    Nov. 19, 2020 at 6:14 p.m.
    #37
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    Quoting: MitchMarner_16
    Oof.


    @csick , im so sorry. i feel like a d*ck for just commenting 'oof' when you're going thru a tough time. My bad.

    I really have no advice, since I'm still very young and have never had serious relationship with a girl, but i wish you all the best with this situation. I would suggest going through it with someone older, wiser, and that you really, really trust. I hope this all works out for you and her as well. Hang in there bud.
    csick liked this.
    Nov. 19, 2020 at 6:27 p.m.
    #38
    Thread Starter
    KFTW
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    Quoting: MitchMarner_16
    @csick , im so sorry. i feel like a d*ck for just commenting 'oof' when you're going thru a tough time. My bad.

    I really have no advice, since I'm still very young and have never had serious relationship with a girl, but i wish you all the best with this situation. I would suggest going through it with someone older, wiser, and that you really, really trust. I hope this all works out for you and her as well. Hang in there bud.


    Thanks bro. Dw your reaction was all good, I felt the same when re-reading it
    MitchMarner_16 liked this.
    Nov. 20, 2020 at 9:07 p.m.
    #39
    GloryDaysAreBack
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    Quoting: csick
    Thanks for writing all that up. We just both thought we were each other’s soulmates and she was talking about moving in together. I wanna support her until she’s out of it.


    I hope that's the case too. I hope she can come out of it permanently which is unfortunately not often the case. It might end up being a relationship + her mental illness issues. When it comes to stuff like that its a very "good days and bad days" type of situation. Doesn't mean you can't have an amazing, fulfilling relationship. Your support is paramount and I respect you for being there for her. I hope things get better.

    BTW Totally thought your profile pic was someone on the caps for the longest time. My bad!
    csick liked this.
     
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