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Wack

Created by: tmlfan4life
Team: 2022-23 Tampa Bay Lightning
Initial Creation Date: Mar. 10, 2023
Published: Mar. 10, 2023
Salary Cap Mode: Basic
Description
This is a parody of Fat by Weird Al (which is a parody of Bad by Michael Jackson) that elicits the kind of trades that Tampa Bay would make if their judgement was wack.

Your return, it’s better than mine
Just watch my team blow up in time
The word is out, I lost my Point
'Cause I needed room to have some coin
Trade out, trade out
Trade out Steven Stamkos, all right

Hedman’s gone, and Colton too
I included them with Pat Maroon
I’ll trade Erik Cernak for Justin Holl
Have yourself Kuch, I’d rather injured Hall

Well, I wanted someone past their prime
It’ll make me look real sick
When I go to pull the trigger on it
I’ll give up fourteen picks

Because I'm wack (wack)
I'm wack, come on (really really wack)
You know I'm wack (wack)
I'm wack, you know it (really really wack)
You know I'm wack (wack)
I'm wack, come on, you know (really really wack)
Don't you call me stupid, idiotic or shat
Just now tell me once again who's wack?

When I package Paul and Perry
I make sure my return is scary
But if I include Brandon Hagel
I'm sure to get the best bagels
If I trade out Mikhail Sergachev
I'm sure to get the worst service yet

When you need to trade Cirelli
I'm adding in Jeannot
Then if you include Alex Killorn
Just how could they say “No”

Because I'm wack (wack)
I'm wack, come on (really really wack)
You know I'm wack (wack)
I'm wack, you know it (really really wack)
You know I'm wack (wack)
I'm wack, you know it, you know (really really wack)
And my trades have optics worse than Stevie Wonder
You can wonder once again, who’s wack?

If you see me comin' your way
Better give me plenty waste
If I offer you the rest of my team
Then let us reach last place

Because I'm wack (wack)
I'm wack, come on (really really wack)
You know I'm wack (wack)
I'm wack, you know it (really really wack)
You know I'm wack (wack)
I'm wack, you know it, you know (really really wack)
When I trade my whole roster
I really trade my whole roster

You know I'm wack (wack)
I'm wack, come on (really really wack)
You know I'm wack (wack)
I'm wack, you know it, you know it (really really wack)
You know, you know (wack wack)
You know, come on (really really wack)

And you know all by myself I'm so wack
Let me tell you once again

You know I'm huge (wack)
I'm wack, you know it (really really wack)
You know I'm wack, you know (really really wack)
You know I'm wack (wack)
I'm wack, you know it (really really wack)
And the whole world knows I'm wack and I'm weird
Just tell me once again who's wack?
Trades
1.
CGY
  1. 2023 6th round pick (TBL)
  2. 2023 7th round pick (TBL)
  3. 2023 7th round pick (ANA)
  4. 2024 3rd round pick (TBL)
  5. 2024 4th round pick (CHI)
  6. 2024 5th round pick (TBL)
  7. 2024 6th round pick (TBL)
  8. 2024 7th round pick (TBL)
  9. 2025 2nd round pick (TBL)
  10. 2025 3rd round pick (TBL)
  11. 2025 4th round pick (TBL)
  12. 2025 5th round pick (TBL)
  13. 2025 6th round pick (TBL)
  14. 2025 7th round pick (TBL)
2.
TBL
  1. 2024 7th round pick (ANA)
3.
4.
5.
TBL
  1. Comrie, Eric
  2. Girgensons, Zemgus
  3. Okposo, Kyle
Additional Details:
Tampa receives the best bagels local to Buffalo
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.
TOR
  1. Cernak, Erik ($1,475,000 retained)
Retained Salary Transactions
Buried
DraftRound 1Round 2Round 3Round 4Round 5Round 6Round 7
2023
2024
Logo of the ANA
2025
ROSTER SIZESALARY CAPCAP HITOVERAGES TooltipBONUSESCAP SPACE
21$82,500,000$64,576,667$0$200,000$17,923,333
Left WingCentreRight Wing
Logo of the Arizona Coyotes
$5,291,667$5,291,667
C, RW
M-NTC
UFA - 2
Logo of the Buffalo Sabres
$6,000,000$6,000,000
RW
M-NTC
UFA - 1
Logo of the Dallas Stars
$3,250,000$3,250,000
C, LW
M-NTC
UFA - 3
Logo of the Calgary Flames
$800,000$800,000 (Performance Bonus$200,000$200K)
RW, C
UFA - 1
Logo of the Dallas Stars
$1,500,000$1,500,000
C, RW, LW
UFA - 1
Logo of the Anaheim Ducks
$425,000$425,000
C, RW
UFA - 2
Logo of the Anaheim Ducks
$750,000$750,000
C, LW, RW
UFA - 1
Logo of the Arizona Coyotes
$3,200,000$3,200,000
RW
UFA - 2
Logo of the Arizona Coyotes
$5,500,000$5,500,000
LW
M-NTC
UFA - 1
Logo of the Dallas Stars
$2,500,000$2,500,000
RW, LW
M-NTC
UFA - 1
Logo of the Buffalo Sabres
$2,200,000$2,200,000
LW, C
UFA - 1
Logo of the Anaheim Ducks
$1,500,000$1,500,000
LW, C
UFA - 1
Left DefenseRight DefenseGoaltender
Logo of the Vancouver Canucks
$7,260,000$7,260,000
LD
NMC
UFA - 5
Logo of the Dallas Stars
$1,850,000$1,850,000
RD
UFA - 2
Logo of the Anaheim Ducks
$850,000$850,000
LD/RD
UFA - 1
Logo of the Vancouver Canucks
$6,000,000$6,000,000
RD
M-NTC
UFA - 2
Logo of the Philadelphia Flyers
$6,250,000$6,250,000
RD
UFA - 5
Logo of the Buffalo Sabres
$1,800,000$1,800,000
G
UFA - 2
Logo of the Anaheim Ducks
$750,000$750,000
LD
UFA - 1
Logo of the Toronto Maple Leafs
$2,000,000$2,000,000
RD
M-NTC
UFA - 1
Logo of the Vancouver Canucks
$750,000$750,000
G
UFA - 1
ScratchesInjured Reserve (IR)Long Term IR (LTIR)
Logo of the Tampa Bay Lightning
$6,875,000$6,875,000
RD
M-NTC
UFA - 2
Logo of the Boston Bruins
$6,000,000$6,000,000
LW
M-NTC, NMC
UFA - 3

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Mar. 10, 2023 at 2:49 p.m.
#1
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Joined: Jul. 2022
Posts: 668
Likes: 174
Boston wins the trade
Mar. 10, 2023 at 4:26 p.m.
#2
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Joined: Feb. 2023
Posts: 1,162
Likes: 874
Keep your candy @$$ bars away from this team. Leafs fans hearts pump kool aid
Mar. 10, 2023 at 4:49 p.m.
#3
Thread Starter
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Joined: Apr. 2022
Posts: 512
Likes: 82
Quoting: Stammer_Time91
Keep your candy $$ bars away from this team. Leafs fans hearts pump kool aid


Hey, it's all in good fun!
Mar. 10, 2023 at 5:54 p.m.
#4
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Joined: Oct. 2022
Posts: 3,060
Likes: 1,085
Quoting: tmlfan4life
Hey, it's all in good fun!


JBB could go on a 2 year meth binge and not be that wack. Hysterical though
tmlfan4life liked this.
 
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