Satirically predicting next years team based on Ron Hextalls rules

Created by: Pens3lieve

Team: 2023-24 Pittsburgh Penguins

Initial Creation Date: Mar. 2, 2023

Published: Mar. 2, 2023

Salary Cap Mode: Basic

Legend

Left Handed

Original Team

Waivers Exempt

Right Handed

Position

Trade Clause

Max Perf. Bonus

Expiry Status

Term Remaining

McDavid, Connor

$12,500,000 ( Performance Bonus

$250,000)

NMC

UFA - 5

Description

This post abides by Hextalls rules:
Stretch out term to bring AAV down for guys over 30
Give our NTCs like they’re stimulus Cheques
Never never never trade a 1st round pick or top prospect
Can’t get out from his own bad deals he signed or traded for (ruutta, Petry, McGinn, Carter)
Never bring up a prospect to give him a shot
Make couple questionable/borderline under the radar signings for the bottom of the roster
Have to be right up against the cap at all times for no reason
Gotta sign an old guys bc we need more veteran leadership

***this post is a joke, an attempt at satire… I wouldn’t make most of these moves but sadly this is probably about like the team we’ll see next year…

Free Agent Signings

RESERVE LIST		YEARS	CAP HIT
Blomqvist, Joel		3	$800,000
Broz, Tristan		3	$800,000

RFA	YEARS	CAP HIT
Hållander, Filip	2	$850,000
Nylander, Alexander	2	$850,000
O'Connor, Drew	2	$850,000
Poehling, Ryan	2	$850,000
Puustinen, Valtteri	2	$850,000
Smith, Ty	2	$850,000

UFA	YEARS	CAP HIT
Jarry, Tristan	6	$5,000,000
Zucker, Jason	5	$5,000,000
Archibald, Josh	1	$900,000
Tokarski, Dustin	1	$775,000
Donato, Ryan	4	$2,750,000
Ryan, Derek	1	$900,000

Buyouts

Jack Johnson: $916,667

Draft	Round 1	Round 2	Round 3	Round 4	Round 5	Round 6	Round 7
2023
2024
2025

ROSTER

LONG-TERM OUTLOOK

EMBED

TEXT-EMBED

ROSTER SIZE	SALARY CAP	CAP HIT	OVERAGES	BONUSES	CAP SPACE
23	$82,500,000	$76,960,592	$0	$0	$5,539,408

Left Wing	Centre	Right Wing
Guentzel, Jake $4,500,000$4,500,000 LW, RW M-NTC UFA - 1	Crosby, Sidney $8,700,000$8,700,000 C NMC UFA - 2	Rakell, Rickard $5,000,000$5,000,000 RW, LW M-NTC UFA - 5
Zucker, Jason $5,000,000$5,000,000 LW, RW UFA - 1	Malkin, Evgeni $6,100,000$6,100,000 C NMC UFA - 3	Rust, Bryan $5,125,000$5,125,000 RW, LW NMC UFA - 5
Donato, Ryan $2,750,000$2,750,000 LW, C, RW UFA - 2	Carter, Jeff $3,125,000$3,125,000 RW, C NMC UFA - 1	Granlund, Mikael $5,000,000$5,000,000 C, RW UFA - 2
McGinn, Brock $2,750,000$2,750,000 LW, RW UFA - 2	O'Connor, Drew $850,000$850,000 LW UFA - 2
		Archibald, Josh $900,000$900,000 RW, LW UFA - 2

Left Defense	Right Defense	Goaltender
Pettersson, Marcus $4,025,175$4,025,175 LD M-NTC UFA - 2	Letang, Kris $6,100,000$6,100,000 RD NMC UFA - 5	Jarry, Tristan $5,000,000$5,000,000 G UFA - 5
Joseph, Pierre-Olivier $825,000$825,000 LD RFA - 1	Petry, Jeff $2,343,750$2,343,750 RD M-NTC, NMC UFA - 2	DeSmith, Casey $1,800,000$1,800,000 G UFA - 1
Smith, Ty $850,000$850,000 LD/RD RFA - 1	Rutta, Jan $2,750,000$2,750,000 LD/RD UFA - 2

Scratches	Injured Reserve (IR)	Long Term IR (LTIR)
Ryan, Derek $900,000$900,000 C, RW UFA - 2
Ruhwedel, Chad $800,000$800,000 RD UFA - 1
Poehling, Ryan $850,000$850,000 C, LW UFA - 1

Taxi Squad
Friedman, Mark $775,000$775,000 ($0$0$0$0) LD/RD UFA - 1

Top Comments

Mar. 2, 2023 at 8:31 a.m.

Pensman69

spoiled penguins fan

Joined: May 2022

Posts: 2,695

Likes: 1,487

Spittin

Pens3lieve liked this.

Mar. 2, 2023 at 8:33 a.m.

GMBL

Joined: May 2022

Posts: 8,581

Likes: 3,322

If he doesn't trade for a goalie, the "big move" would probably be signing a different goalie like Andersen. He's 6 years older than Jarry.

Pens3lieve liked this.

Mar. 2, 2023 at 8:39 a.m.

MorHitzSeider

Banned

Joined: Feb. 2023

Posts: 1,865

Likes: 1,216

This sounds like Ken Holland's last 8 years in Detroit except for the never trade a 1st round pick or top prospect part.

Pens3lieve liked this.

Mar. 2, 2023 at 9:12 a.m.

Penz87

Joined: Jan. 2023

Posts: 235

Likes: 101

It's sad how right you are.

Pens3lieve liked this.

Mar. 2, 2023 at 9:33 a.m.

Pens3lieve

Hockey IQ

Joined: May 2019

Posts: 3,024

Likes: 1,492

Quoting: Pensman69

Spittin

Quoting: GMBL

If he doesn't trade for a goalie, the "big move" would probably be signing a different goalie like Andersen. He's 6 years older than Jarry.

Quoting: MorHitzSeider

This sounds like Ken Holland's last 8 years in Detroit except for the never trade a 1st round pick or top prospect part.

Quoting: Penz87

It's sad how right you are.

It’s so depressing to see the Sid/Geno era end this way tho…they deserved better for sure… even Jim Rutherford would be better as GM…

GMBL and Pensman69 liked this.

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Satirically predicting next years team based on Ron Hextalls rules

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