How about Rutta, Pit's 2023 1st, and Casey DeSmith for Larkin at 50% retention, profits from hot dog sales at Comerica Park for the next 10 years, and the rights to RoboCop?

Edit: RoboCop would also need to come with Paul Verhoeven

But he's a rental... that might be too steep for me.

It pains me to say but we’re stuck with carter. Can’t buy him out because the contract was signed over age 35 and no gm in their right mind would trade for him AND he has a no movement clause (Thanks Ron!). He’s either got to be in the lineup or (preferably) in the press box but his cap hit stays with this team.

At some point you guys have got to face reality, bite the bullet and start planning for the future. The idea that you can start a rebuild a couple of years from now means that you'll be starting it at the bottom. If Guentzel or Scheifele (or, God forbid, both) walk in 2024, Crosby has only one or two more great seasons in him, and you've traded away that first and essentially taken a pass on the 2023 draft, when 2026 rolls around, you'll be staring at a Buffalo-Sabres-like playoff drought. The fact that the youngster you select at #14 this June will become a decent starter in 2026 is exactly why you shouldn't trade him, because without him, with your shallow prospect pool, who DO you anticipate being decent starters in 2026?

I don't care who the starters are in 2026. I want to be the worst damn team in the league and get a shot at a generational talent. A half assed rebuild based on middle first round prospects is exactly how you become mediocre. Play for now while you have it. Suck for a few years to get the best draft spots. Build around the new high end talent.

That's fair, but he is a very good rental who could sign an extension if he likes it here.

Not interested?

Ok. How about I trade you three quarters of a ham sandwich, Mikael Granlund, and a signed Bobby Wagner rookie card for 2 sandwich bags of beef jerky, Simon Edvinsson, and 5 minutes with your refrigerator with no questions asked.