Funniest Player Names

Forums/Armchair-GM

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Created by: bluspy88

Team: 2022-23 Custom Team

Initial Creation Date: Nov. 1, 2022

Published: Nov. 1, 2022

Salary Cap Mode: Basic

Description

This is not to mock these players but enjoy the fun in pronouncing their names or coincidences of their names! We all love a Radek Bonk or Bates Battaglia. I chose these for a bunch of reaons such as: they are very long, they sound like a crude joke or are used in crude jokes (Mike Hardman, Sergei "Boobtitsky", "Horny"), they are fun to pronounce, they sound awesome (Calle Clang), or they have funny nicknames about their name (Bob, Zucc, Ghostbear), two first names (Nicholas Paul), alliterations, etc.

Again I am NOT mocking any of them or their ancestry, I just really like all these players names for various reasons!

Gotta have the Jack Huges/Jack Quinn/Quinn Hughes thing up here along with the dueling Ahos.

ROSTER

LONG-TERM OUTLOOK

EMBED

TEXT-EMBED

ROSTER SIZE	SALARY CAP	CAP HIT	OVERAGES	BONUSES	CAP SPACE
85	$999,999,999	$228,534,417	$0	$9,435,000	$771,465,582

Left Wing	Centre	Right Wing
Jonsson-Fjällby, Axel $750,000$750,000 LW UFA - 1	Hughes, Jack $8,000,000$8,000,000 C UFA - 8	Quinn, Jack $863,333$863,333 ($850,000$850K) RW, LW RFA - 3
Athanasiou, Andreas $3,000,000$3,000,000 LW, RW UFA - 1	Toninato, Dominic $750,000$750,000 C, LW UFA - 1	Zuccarello, Mats $6,000,000$6,000,000 RW, LW M-NTC, NMC UFA - 2
DeBrincat, Alex $6,400,000$6,400,000 LW, RW UFA - 1	Zibanejad, Mika $8,500,000$8,500,000 C NMC UFA - 8	Yamamoto, Kailer $3,100,000$3,100,000 RW RFA - 2
Hardman, Mike $800,000$800,000 LW, RW UFA - 2	Aho, Sebastian $8,460,250$8,460,250 C UFA - 2	Appleton, Mason $2,166,667$2,166,667 RW UFA - 3
Höglander, Nils $891,667$891,667 ($300,000$300K) LW, RW RFA - 1	Anderson-Dolan, Jaret $750,000$750,000 C, LW, RW RFA - 1	Barabanov, Alexander $2,500,000$2,500,000 RW, LW M-NTC UFA - 2
Luostarinen, Eetu $1,500,000$1,500,000 LW, C UFA - 2	Der-Arguchintsev, Semyon $766,667$766,667 C RFA - 1	Bjorkstrand, Oliver $5,400,000$5,400,000 RW, LW M-NTC UFA - 4
MacEachern, Mackenzie $750,000$750,000 LW, RW UFA - 1	Girgensons, Zemgus $2,200,000$2,200,000 LW, C UFA - 1	Clutterbuck, Cal $1,750,000$1,750,000 RW UFA - 2
Mangiapane, Andrew $5,800,000$5,800,000 RW, LW UFA - 3	Heponiemi, Aleksi $750,000$750,000 LW, C RFA - 1	Dadonov, Evgeni $2,500,000$2,500,000 RW, LW M-NTC UFA - 1
Marchment, Mason $4,500,000$4,500,000 LW, RW NMC UFA - 4	Järnkrok, Calle $2,100,000$2,100,000 RW, C, LW M-NTC UFA - 4	Entwistle, Mackenzie $800,000$800,000 LW, C RFA - 2
McMichael, Connor $863,333$863,333 LW, C RFA - 2	Kadri, Nazem $7,000,000$7,000,000 C NMC UFA - 7	Frk, Martin $750,000$750,000 RW UFA - 1
Niederreiter, Nino $4,000,000$4,000,000 LW, RW UFA - 2	Kotkaniemi, Jesperi $4,820,000$4,820,000 C UFA - 8	Hörnqvist, Patric $5,300,000$5,300,000 RW M-NTC UFA - 1
Podkolzin, Vasily $925,000$925,000 ($850,000$850K) RW, LW RFA - 2	McTavish, Mason $894,167$894,167 ($2,500,000$2M) C, LW RFA - 3	Kakko, Kaapo $2,100,000$2,100,000 RW RFA - 2
Sharangovich, Yegor $2,000,000$2,000,000 C, LW, RW UFA - 1	Paul, Nicholas $3,150,000$3,150,000 C, LW NTC UFA - 7	Kolesar, Keegan $1,400,000$1,400,000 RW UFA - 3
Slafkovsky, Juraj $950,000$950,000 ($3,500,000$4M) RW, LW RFA - 3	Sundqvist, Oskar $2,750,000$2,750,000 RW, C UFA - 1	Kuhlman, Karson $825,000$825,000 RW UFA - 1
Zohorna, Radim $750,000$750,000 LW, RW UFA - 1	Zetterlund, Fabian $750,000$750,000 RW RFA - 1	Maenalanen, Saku $750,000$750,000 RW, LW UFA - 1
Zucker, Jason $5,500,000$5,500,000 LW, RW M-NTC UFA - 1		Giroux, Claude $6,500,000$6,500,000 RW, C NMC UFA - 3
		Namestnikov, Vladislav $1,250,000$1,250,000 LW, RW, C M-NTC UFA - 1
		Okposo, Kyle $6,000,000$6,000,000 RW M-NTC UFA - 1
		Puljujärvi, Jesse $3,000,000$3,000,000 RW UFA - 1
		Silfverberg, Jakob $5,250,000$5,250,000 RW, LW M-NTC UFA - 2
		Teräväinen, Teuvo $5,400,000$5,400,000 LW, RW M-NTC UFA - 2
		Wahlstrom, Oliver $894,167$894,167 ($537,500$538K) RW RFA - 1
		Peterka, John-Jason $855,833$855,833 ($82,500$82K) LW, RW RFA - 3

Left Defense	Right Defense	Goaltender
	Mukhamadullin, Shakir $894,167$894,167 ($400,000$400K) LD RFA - 3	Bobrovsky, Sergei $10,000,000$10,000,000 G NMC UFA - 4
Gostisbehere, Shayne $4,500,000$4,500,000 LD/RD UFA - 1	Zub, Artem $2,500,000$2,500,000 RD UFA - 1	Clang, Calle $878,333$878,333 ($82,500$82K) G RFA - 3
Hughes, Quinn $7,850,000$7,850,000 LD UFA - 5	Goligoski, Alex $2,000,000$2,000,000 LD/RD NMC UFA - 2	Hellberg, Magnus $750,000$750,000 G UFA - 1
Aho, Sebastian $825,000$825,000 LD UFA - 2	Hakanpää, Jani $1,500,000$1,500,000 RD UFA - 2	Kähkönen, Kaapo $2,750,000$2,750,000 G UFA - 2
Borowiecki, Mark $900,000$900,000 LD UFA - 1	Hronek, Filip $4,400,000$4,400,000 RD RFA - 2	Khudobin, Anton $3,333,333$3,333,333 G UFA - 1
Grzelcyk, Matt $3,687,500$3,687,500 LD UFA - 2	Pysyk, Mark $850,000$850,000 RD UFA - 1	Luukkonen, Ukko-Pekka $837,500$837,500 G RFA - 2
Knyzhov, Nikolai $850,000$850,000 LD/RD UFA - 1	Ristolainen, Rasmus $5,100,000$5,100,000 RD UFA - 5	Mann, Strauss $842,500$842,500 ($82,500$82K) G UFA - 1
Liljegren, Timothy $1,400,000$1,400,000 RD RFA - 2	Ruhwedel, Chad $800,000$800,000 RD UFA - 2	Saros, Juuse $5,000,000$5,000,000 G UFA - 3
MacDermid, Kurtis $987,500$987,500 LD/RD, LW UFA - 2		Tokarski, Dustin $775,000$775,000 G UFA - 1
Niemeläinen, Markus $762,500$762,500 LD UFA - 2
Nutivaara, Markus $1,500,000$1,500,000 ($250,000$250K) LD/RD UFA - 1
Vaakanainen, Urho $850,000$850,000 LD/RD RFA - 2
Weegar, MacKenzie $3,250,000$3,250,000 LD/RD UFA - 1
Xhekaj, Arber $828,333$828,333 LD/RD RFA - 2
Zamula, Yegor $756,667$756,667 LD/RD RFA - 1

Text-Embed

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CapFriendly.com Armchair-GM User-Generated Roster

FORWARDS (54)
Right Wing: Jack Quinn ($863,333) - Mats Zuccarello ($6,000,000) - Kailer Yamamoto ($3,100,000) - Mason Appleton ($2,166,667) - Alexander Barabanov ($2,500,000) - Oliver Bjorkstrand ($5,400,000) - Cal Clutterbuck ($1,750,000) - Evgeni Dadonov ($2,500,000) - Mackenzie Entwistle ($800,000) - Martin Frk ($750,000) - Patric Hörnqvist ($5,300,000) - Kaapo Kakko ($2,100,000) - Keegan Kolesar ($1,400,000) - Karson Kuhlman ($825,000) - Saku Maenalanen ($750,000) - Claude Giroux ($6,500,000) - Vladislav Namestnikov ($1,250,000) - Kyle Okposo ($6,000,000) - Jesse Puljujärvi ($3,000,000) - Jakob Silfverberg ($5,250,000) - Teuvo Teräväinen ($5,400,000) - Oliver Wahlstrom ($894,167) - John-Jason Peterka ($855,833)
Centre: Jack Hughes ($8,000,000) - Dominic Toninato ($750,000) - Mika Zibanejad ($8,500,000) - Sebastian Aho ($8,460,250) - Jaret Anderson-Dolan ($750,000) - Semyon Der-Arguchintsev ($766,667) - Zemgus Girgensons ($2,200,000) - Aleksi Heponiemi ($750,000) - Calle Järnkrok ($2,100,000) - Nazem Kadri ($7,000,000) - Jesperi Kotkaniemi ($4,820,000) - Mason McTavish ($894,167) - Nicholas Paul ($3,150,000) - Oskar Sundqvist ($2,750,000) - Fabian Zetterlund ($750,000)
Left Wing: Axel Jonsson-Fjällby ($750,000) - Andreas Athanasiou ($3,000,000) - Alex DeBrincat ($6,400,000) - Mike Hardman ($800,000) - Nils Höglander ($891,667) - Eetu Luostarinen ($1,500,000) - Mackenzie MacEachern ($750,000) - Andrew Mangiapane ($5,800,000) - Mason Marchment ($4,500,000) - Connor McMichael ($863,333) - Nino Niederreiter ($4,000,000) - Vasily Podkolzin ($925,000) - Yegor Sharangovich ($2,000,000) - Juraj Slafkovsky ($950,000) - Radim Zohorna ($750,000) - Jason Zucker ($5,500,000)

DEFENSE (23)
Right: Shakir Mukhamadullin ($894,167) - Artem Zub ($2,500,000) - Alex Goligoski ($2,000,000) - Jani Hakanpää ($1,500,000) - Filip Hronek ($4,400,000) - Mark Pysyk ($850,000) - Rasmus Ristolainen ($5,100,000) - Chad Ruhwedel ($800,000)
Left: Shayne Gostisbehere ($4,500,000) - Quinn Hughes ($7,850,000) - Sebastian Aho ($825,000) - Mark Borowiecki ($900,000) - Matt Grzelcyk ($3,687,500) - Nikolai Knyzhov ($850,000) - Timothy Liljegren ($1,400,000) - Kurtis MacDermid ($987,500) - Markus Niemeläinen ($762,500) - Markus Nutivaara ($1,500,000) - Urho Vaakanainen ($850,000) - MacKenzie Weegar ($3,250,000) - Arber Xhekaj ($828,333) - Yegor Zamula ($756,667)

GOALTENDER (9)
Sergei Bobrovsky ($10,000,000) - Calle Clang ($878,333) - Magnus Hellberg ($750,000) - Kaapo Kähkönen ($2,750,000) - Anton Khudobin ($3,333,333) - Ukko-Pekka Luukkonen ($837,500) - Strauss Mann ($842,500) - Juuse Saros ($5,000,000) - Dustin Tokarski ($775,000)

DETAILS
Roster Size: 85
Salary Cap: $999,999,999
Cap Hit: $228,534,417
Cap Space: $771,465,582

Nov. 1, 2022 at 5:47 p.m.

dickie_boon

yotes own canada

Joined: Jul. 2021

Posts: 2,101

Likes: 746

calle clang and john jason peterka are the greatest names of all time

bluspy88 liked this.

Nov. 1, 2022 at 5:48 p.m.

bluspy88

Thread Starter

Joined: Sep. 2020

Posts: 980

Likes: 286

Quoting: dickie_boon

calle clang and john jason peterka are the greatest names of all time

I forgot Peterka!!! Good one.

dickie_boon liked this.

Nov. 1, 2022 at 5:52 p.m.

MoreHitzSeider

Seiders on the Storm

Joined: May 2020

Posts: 9,890

Likes: 7,764

Rocco Grimaldi

Hakan Loob

Reijo Ruotsalainen

Rick Vaaaaaaiiiiiiivvvvveeee

And the greatest of them all...

ZARLEY ZALAPSKI

Nuff said!

bluspy88 liked this.

Nov. 1, 2022 at 5:55 p.m.

habitantlecolon

Le patriote

Joined: Dec. 2018

Posts: 6,354

Likes: 1,410

Quoting: MoreHitzSeider

Rocco Grimaldi

Hakan Loob

Reijo Ruotsalainen

Rick Vaaaaaaiiiiiiivvvvveeee

And the greatest of them all...

ZARLEY ZALAPSKI

Nuff said!

no more Mike Waiver (Weaver)
Je rage, Slap en ski!

Nov. 1, 2022 at 5:59 p.m.

bluspy88

Thread Starter

Joined: Sep. 2020

Posts: 980

Likes: 286

Quoting: MoreHitzSeider

Rocco Grimaldi

Hakan Loob

Reijo Ruotsalainen

Rick Vaaaaaaiiiiiiivvvvveeee

And the greatest of them all...

ZARLEY ZALAPSKI

Nuff said!

Oo I should do an all time one, Loob and Zalapski are great ones

Nov. 1, 2022 at 6:04 p.m.

MoreHitzSeider

Seiders on the Storm

Joined: May 2020

Posts: 9,890

Likes: 7,764

Quoting: bluspy88

Oo I should do an all time one, Loob and Zalapski are great ones

That would be legendary! Wilf Paiment! Ilkka Sinisalo!

habitantlecolon and bluspy88 liked this.

Nov. 1, 2022 at 6:08 p.m.

MoreHitzSeider

Seiders on the Storm

Joined: May 2020

Posts: 9,890

Likes: 7,764

Quoting: habitantlecolon

no more Mike Waiver (Weaver)
Je rage, Slap en ski!

Mike "Dream" Weaver!

habitantlecolon liked this.

Nov. 1, 2022 at 6:10 p.m.

MoreHitzSeider

Seiders on the Storm

Joined: May 2020

Posts: 9,890

Likes: 7,764

The name "Miles Wood" always makes me laugh. 😁

habitantlecolon liked this.

Nov. 1, 2022 at 6:57 p.m.

NorthernLeafsFan05

Amirov Forever

Joined: Mar. 2022

Posts: 6,601

Likes: 6,064

No Yanni Gourde?

Nov. 1, 2022 at 7:02 p.m.

#10

GMBL

Joined: May 2022

Posts: 8,566

Likes: 3,319

There are like 2 or 3 prospects that have names that seem fake, I think on Calgary, not sure but someone made an ACGM with them signed and I thought they weren't real players.

Nov. 1, 2022 at 7:29 p.m.

#11

NHLfan10506

Joined: May 2019

Posts: 40,247

Likes: 18,370

Maybe my favorite: Ivan Ivan

Nov. 2, 2022 at 1:07 a.m.

#12

Skyraider112

Sabres are elite

Joined: Jun. 2017

Posts: 7,994

Likes: 3,305

May I interest you in a few Sabres reserve list players?

- William von Barnekow Løfberg
- Joel Ratkovic Berndtsson
- William Worge Kreu (former reserve lister)
- Linus Lindstrand Cronholm (former reserve lister)

Those are some good names

bluspy88 liked this.

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